A few weeks back, I helped my homeboy move out of his apartment and of course, we rented a U-Haul.  Well apparently, my boy rented his truck from the busiest spot in all of Maryland AND given that it was the 31st of October (Halloween), everybody and their mama needed a truck to move from one apartment complex to the next.

$8,000 first time homebuyer tax credit my ass.

Anyway, we took the truck back at about 6:30 pm and the U-Haul locale was JUMPIN’ like the club.  I saw a chick who turned out to be a man dressed like a woman dancing to a Beyonce song, which was, like, so cliche.  Anyway, as we stand in line for what seems like forever, the clearly overworked ninja employees of the establishment begin loudcapping everybody but nobody in particular about people needing to get out of the store because it was basically closing time and how they weren’t getting paid enough to deal with these snippy motherf*ckers.

Being the college-educated and well-adjusted individuals that me and mi compadre are, we waited our turn and when we got to the front of the line, the phone started ringing.  Now you might think this was the store phone.  Nope, it was her personal cell phone and much to the surprise of nobody, she answered the phone…WHILE dealing with our order.  She proceeds to detail to the person on the other end of the phone how ninjas just KEEP showing up KNOWING that they close at 7pm and how she BETTER have some collard greens and chicken left.

And for anybody who went to Ray’s funeral last weekend, I’m sorry for your loss.  I didn’t know Ray personally, but I heard about all of the details from Bertha at the U-Haul on Chillum Road in Hyattsville, Maryland.

You’re welcome.

Anyway, the craptastic service and all around ri-damn-diculousness that I witnessed reminded me of something that I both love and adore…SERVICE AT A BLACK RUN ESTABLISHMENT!

While I love my people dearly, there definitely are some Black Run Establishments (BREz) that be on that bullsh*t.  Sometimes…they just suuuuuck.

So quickly, here are 7 sign that you might be at a BRE.

1)  Lots of employees but no work getting done

SEE example from up above.

2)  Employees make you feel like they’re doing YOU a favor by dealing with you…despite the fact that you’re paying for a service

There’s nothing worse than a motherf*cker treating you like you should thank them for being there and getting paid to do their damn job.  I hate ninjas like this. Really.  Like really really.

3)  Folks are talking on their personal cellphones, about personal business

I don’t know about you, but I don’t even need Bossip or TMZ.  All I do is go to my local Popeye’s and I can keep up with all the local and Hollywood gossip when Boomshakalaka and her cousin get to talking about who Ray J is REALLY f*cking. Yay!

4)  Hard to tell the employees from the friends of employees

I’ll never understand why folks will go visit their homies at work FOR HOURS.  Jesus be an unemployment check.

5)  There’s always a lingering threat of violence between…somebody(s)

You ever just notice a palpable anger in the air but can’t tell where it’s coming from or who it’s directed towards but if a fight broke out you wouldn’t be surprised?  Yeah, you just might be in a BRE.

6)  They play the versions of songs that include Plies and/or curse words

Plies = curse words in my book and neither are allowed on Sunday anywhere NEAR me.  Seriously though, perhaps I’m just getting old but I get downright soccermom-ish when I hear a song playing in a store and it’s the dirty version.  I just want to shake a stick at people and make them feel bad with vicious rhetoric.

7)  You have to check your bag at the door

I think it’s so funny that you have to check your bag in a store where you can literally see the entire store and everybody in it from the front door.  Then again, in this time of economic depression, I guess the ninja at the front door checking bags is just happy to have a job.  Either way, they don’t do that sh*t at the store NEXT DOOR.  And chances are, I’d rather rob them anyway.  But I can read.  So I won’t.

So folks , I KNOW I missed some things.  Educate the people, people.  How do YOU know you might be at a BRE??

Inquiring minds would like to know.

Also Read:

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