For most people the motive for attracting a partner is based around filling a void. Attempting to fill that void with an outside source is equivalent to trying to fill in a bottomless pit. You can keep trying to fill the pit, but no matter how much you put in the pit, it is never enough. If you feel like you “need” a partner in your life as opposed to “wanting” a partner, more than likely you will develop an unhealthy dependency on that person.

The key to attracting a healthy partnership in your life is developing a better relationship with yourself. Learn how to be more comfortable going to the movies alone, going out to dinner alone, exploring local events that stimulate you alone. In the midst of exploring on your own, you will be surprised how many interesting people you will meet who have similar interests. You don’t find love, it finds you, but if you’re lost in hiding even from yourself, how can love find you?

The more comfortable you become with enjoying yourself by yourself, the more confidence you will exude. Healthy potential partners are drawn to people who are confident and secure. Unhealthy potential partners prey on people with low self-esteem. You automatically attract a reflection of how you feel about yourself. This is universal law.

So, go out and explore. Focus more on enjoying life by yourself and you will attract someone with whom to enjoy life. YOU are the delicious dessert, your partner is only the icing on the cake. You are a treat to be discovered. Remember, the most important relationship is the one you have with yourself first.

Jason Hairston

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