Do you ever feel like being a grown up is the biggest set up ever?

One of my biggest critiques of the NAACP and frankly the old-guard in the Black community is that most of our elders complain about our youth’s collective lack of social activism, but it’s their fault. We aren’t fighting the struggle anymore, blah blah blah. We’re complacent. And there’s some truth in that. The fact is, Black folks fought so hard to get equality, that once it was achieved (and yes you can debate and argue that ’til the cows come home, but for the sake of argument let’s assume we’re much more equal now than in the past) everybody took a day off and that turned into years off.

It was hard to maintain that inner fire when you lived in a nice home in a nice community with nice schools. Hell, ask Ice Cube.

So what happens? For a lot of Black people, merely going to college is the equivalent of the American dream. Think about how happy most of our parents were that we were just going to college. Getting there meant so much to my parents. Getting there…hell, I’m not even sure my parents were concerned about me graduating. I expected it of myself, but their focus was my having the opportunity to have an education, not the actual education I received. Of course, going to Morehouse was a big deal. But then again,  I’m kind of a big deal. It’s all the same reason why you can’t tell older Black folks anything about Tyler Perry or even Obama. Tyler Perry is a Black man who makes movies for other Black people and people love it.

And short of blowing up Detroit accidentally, Obama will be beloved in the Black community by older Black people forever simply for doing something that nobody ever thought possible in their lifetimes.

And what does all that have to do with the price of a rickshaw in Compton?

Getting there is half the battle. *ding*

But I’ll be gotdamn if there isn’t a whole other half that it seems like a lot of our parents forgot about. I went to college without any clue whatsoever what college was going to be like or what I should be doing to maximize opportunities. I saw a lot of other folks doing big things but I had no idea where to even start. I had no connections and nobody to give me any guidance on internships or hell, even working smarter not harder. Networking is great…now…but as an 18 year old trying to hang with the big dogs it was intimidating. If 18-year-old Panama knew even a quarter of what 32-year-old Panama knows I’d be a millionaire right now. And I mean that seriously.

I see that same thing happen to so many of my peers. It’s not that we don’t have the talent and know-how to big league the game, it’s that so many of us have no clue where to start. We see a lot of our friends doing huge things, buying multiple homes, with the rides making stupid dope moves and wondering where the hell they figured out how to do that. My parents never thought once to tell me.

Maybe they shouldn’t have to. I had this convo with my boy once. He was talking with his da and told him that he dropped the ball. He’d acquired all this wealth (so to speak) and never once told his kids how to do the same. His father’s argument was, “you didn’t ask”. My boy was like, “you’re the parents, you’re supposed to teach. Do you know how much further along I’d be in so many areas if you’d shared your knowledge?”

And that’s real talk. So many of us have had to figure out life on our own because either our parents are still trying to figure it out too or somebody dropped the ball along the way and just figured that since they had to do it on their own, so should you. It build’s character. And the folks who are doing it, for the most part, are concerned as hell with keeping it and getting as much as they can. Sure some folks give back but if you’re a 32-year-old mogul, you’re focus is your life, not schooling other 32-year-0lds on how to be a millionaire. We kind of have a “get like me” attitude about things anyway so who wants to ask them for their help. Pride is a helluva drug.

It’s the great okie doke. So many of us spin our wheels attempting to figure out life and what it means to truly make it from acquiring money and wealth to even getting a man or a woman. So many of our parents made a million mistakes getting to where they are that they don’t know either so their advice is questionable at best. If they’ll even give it. I’ve always gotten the impression that this is why white people stay winning. And folks from other cultures. They share the wealth. But even then, I see a lot of white folks struggling so maybe I’m wrong there too.

Maybe success is all luck. I don’t know. It’s like I feel like I know where I should be, but why does it seem like I’m not there sometimes? If I did everything I was supposed to do, how come I’m not where I’m supposed to be?

Supposed is some bullsh*t.

Truth is, Nas was right. Life is a b*tch and then you die.

But what the hell am I doing while I’m here?  That’s the million dollar question.

And sometimes, I really don’t know.

Feel me?

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