Many people enter relationships without really knowing themselves and their needs. When looking for a partner, it’s important to figure out what will truly make you happy. Don’t just jump on the dating merry-go-round because you’re likely to end up right where you started. Sit down and assess what you’re looking for. Get to know yourself.
For some of you, this may be a bit challenging maybe because you never actually took the time to think about these things. You are more comfortable with just meeting people and hoping that one of them will be a perfect match. Well how would you know if that person is right for you? Have you thought about what will make that person the ideal partner? I like to compare this concept with that of purchasing a house. When you meet a real estate agent and you’re explaining the type of house you’re looking for, you must have some idea of what that house would look like and where it’s located. You may not be able to provide a detailed description of what you need, but you know the key features such as the size of the house (whether it’s big or small) and that it’s located in a big city. The same goes when you’re entering the dating scene. When looking for a potential boyfriend or girlfriend, keep in mind what’s important to you.
In order to become more aware of what you are looking for in a relationship, you will need to assess yourself and your needs. Be completely honest during your evaluation. Ask yourself these questions:
What qualities am I looking for in a man/woman?
What are my core values?
What values am I willing to compromise?
What values am I not willing to compromise?
What do I need emotionally?
Why do I want a relationship?
Why didn’t my past relationships work out?
On a scale of 1 to 10 (with 10 being the highest), how would I rate my self-esteem?
What are my life goals?
Where do I see myself in 1 year/5 years/10 years?
What are my strengths and weaknesses?
What is it about being in a relationship that appeals to me?
Am I over my past relationships?
Am I ready for a serious relationship or just dating?
What do I think about commitment?
Am I able to communicate my emotions effectively with a partner?
Am I comfortable getting close to others?
What stops me from getting what I want/need?
How can I be happier?
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Reconnecting with an ex on Valentine’s Day?
Many people seem to use Valentine’s Day as an excuse to send a text or call an ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend. This tends to be the case mostly with single people. One reason for this may be because the loneliness kicks in when you see everyone around you celebrating with their significant other while you’re alone. Or maybe you’re reminiscing about the previous Valentine’s Day you shared with him/her and then you start to miss that person.
Don’t forget the reasons why the two of you broke up. Why didn’t the relationship work out? It’s common to just remember the fun times you’ve had with your ex when you’re feeling lonely, but look at the whole picture. Chances are, there were more bad times than good times in the relationship that eventually led to the breakup. So before you send that text, assess why you feel the need to reconnect with your ex. Is that what’s best for you?
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