The following post is part of the The Insomnia Club, a writers’ collective founded in New York City by Jackie Summers, leader of a continental band of writers who are not afraid to say what they think or share what they’ve lived.

I open up my email not long after I wake up every morning. Usually, I’m thinking about an email I didn’t respond to the night before, to which I just need to shoot a quickly reply. But once my email is open, the bright whiteness of new emails delights my pupils, and words like “night out”, “celebration”, and “advertising request” in subject headers draw my initial clicks.

Two hours later, after having clicked through links sent about health tips on Yahoo and attempting to understand the scientific breakdown of both genetically modified foods and the chemicals inserted in vaccines, I’m exhausted and have completely forgotten about previously mentioned email response.

Chalk it up to the age of technology, but the truth is, how we live our daily lives spills into how we live our sex lives. True, I’ve always been a bit ADD (or ADHD, like all the cool kids are calling it these days). But this condition only multiplied as social media and blogging became my work world, and I see it extend into just about every part of my life – cleaning the house, planning my (exterior) social life, and knocking boots.

For sex, though, it may not be such a bad thing. Depending on who’s doing the choosing, of course.

Venus Rules

My choices when it comes to the physical side of love are based in and probably best expressed by my Venus being in Scorpio.

For those of you who don’t follow astrology (or buy into it), knowing where your Venus resides is a whole lot more informative that reading your horoscope in the back of the free weekly.

Venus rules beauty, feelings, emotion, sensuality. She makes sure you get in touch with your lovey side, and this is projected onto the world based on what sign she fell in the day you were born.

For me, she was hanging out in Scorpio on December 25, 1978 at 10:10pm, a sign known for its loyalty, observational skills, and passion.

Scorpio is also known for being obsessive, suspicious, and jealous, jealous, jealous.

What I’ve slowly come to find through exploring my sexuality over my adult years (I wouldn’t call anything before I graduated from college an exploration, but more of a “what the hell am I doing?”) is that I can use both the connoted ‘negative’ traits as well as the ‘positive’ ones to keep my sex life intriguing over the long haul.

(Well, I’m guessing, as I haven’t really had the long haul yet.)

The Final Frontier

Though I’ve always considered myself to have a high sex drive (except for when I suffered from a period of chronic fatigue – even then, my vibrator wasn’t far from my heart, or loins), it’s really just been in the last few years that I’ve jumped into what I consider the ‘next’ level of sex – the spiritual dimension.

I think this is where we can keep sexual tension alive and well in the age of instant gratification.

What do I consider the spiritual dimension? Well, it can be as simple as looking into another person’s eyes and seeing a world beyond the green flecks and black outline that stares back. It can go deeper into shared breathing and meditation techniques. It can be as complex as covering all bases, pranayama breath, a drawer full of enhancement goods, and hanging from a swing all at once.

I’m just sayin’.

To reach this spiritual dimension, I have to employ the benefits of Venus in Scorpio – observing my partner, being loyal to his needs and my own, and certainly bringing the passion in via look or move. I also use the less prized points of this lashing creature – I obsess over setting up the perfect romantic rendezvous, even when it’s just a Wednesday night; I can turn my suspicions into being increasingly turned on; jealousy can create some yummy friction and serious fireworks.

Focus, Focus, Foc…Um, What?

I also see this Scorpio nature as kicking it in the same hood as my multi-focused personality (doesn’t that sound so much better than ADHD?): I keep tabs on all areas so there’s rarely a dull moment (at least in my mind).

Plus, being generally open when it comes to sex has found me ahead of most of the guys I’ve been with. Though I have an issue with mainstream porn from a feminist standpoint, I do not have a problem with porn in general – and probably am more interested in incorporating than many men are.

I also love to play with the ideas of sexuality cliffs and edges we can look over, which can actually be scary to some men. But it certainly keeps them interested.

All this is to say I think we can use the age of instant gratification and sexual bombardment to our advantage. Instead of thinking as a woman, “Sexual images everywhere take my man’s mind off of me and over to some airbrushed version of big tits and a tiny waist”, ponder if you can bring that sexual energy back into your relationship.

Or if you are a man, instead of letting your jealousy of another guy checking out your woman get out of control and blaming, channel it into appreciating the goddess you have laying next to you in bed and showing your gratitude.

And let that ADD mind run rampant when you shut the bedroom (or Burger King bathroom) door.

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