I suppose it is inevitable for an internet dater and One Date Wonder. The lure of it is strong. The talk of it is incessant. We read it and snicker, poke it and wonder, click around and ponder. Perhaps we even answer an ad here or there before the inevitable occurs. We place an ad on CraigsList.

I finally gave in after a firm recommendation from The Unadater. In retrospect, he is probably not the sort of guy I would usually take dating recommendations from (totally love reading that stuff though!), but there you have it. It is done. Ad posted, responses still coming in.

Let me explain some things about CL that I have learned. First of all, most men will post straight up looking for sex. Why? Because they are men. And because some women are interested in the same and will answer. Even if they have not posted overtly looking for sex, they probably are anyway. It’s just a ploy to capture the other women who will not answer the sex ads. Therefore the only clear solution is to take control of the situation and post your own damn ad. Make them come to you and screen as necessary.

The second thing is to make sure you are honest about what you’re looking for. If you want the sex, trust me you can find it. Just ask. If you want more…. well maybe that’s possible too. Although more on that later. The point is to be clear. These people are not mind readers and if you don’t tell them what you want, they will go straight to the dirty place.

Then there’s the fact that some of them are going to the dirty place no matter what you do. This is true of all online dating sites. The key to avoidance (if you do indeed wish to avoid the immediate dirty place going) is to screen carefully. Develop an active BS meter and trust it. Hit delete if anything is even remotely hinky.

Once you have all that down, fun things happen. The weird people answer. The grammatically challenged come out to play. People start flinging phone numbers around. And maybe, just maybe, some guy asks you out to the Asian grocery store in town to haul around his mangoes. No seriously. Stories to come.

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