I broke up with Bob on Wednesday night after our last rock climbing lesson together (which I totally aced! New hobby alert!). It was going oh so well, and even the kisses were getting better than they did the first time but two things happened that quickly made me change my mind:

Our interactions slowly turned as he became jealous of little things. Jealousy is perhaps the quickest turn-off for me. It’s also a red flag. I’m a friendly girl, and I talk with everyone, men and women, so jealous boyfriends (and I’ve had a couple of them) don’t really understand. And it’s not as if I’m being hypocritical; I don’t mind if a boyfriend chats with other girls, or even checks them out, as long as he’s consistently hanging out with me and checking me out. I’m not a jealous type. Jealousy was the demise, though, with my first boyfriend, who became bitter when I chatted with a cafeteria worker at camp. *sigh* Anyway, back to Bob, who got jealous when I agreed to go running with one of my girl friends instead of him one afternoon (he was busy that day). He got onto chat with me a few minutes later:

me: Hey there!

Bob: hey sexy..

have fun with your new running partner (mmph)

me: Ha! ;)

You’ll ALWAYS be my favorite running partner, silly.

Bob: …. ok.. as long as i’m in your top 5

hee hee

me: Yeah, I’m kind of a social butterfly – but I really like YOU. :)

Bob: grr..

u look hot today

He also started saying things like “When we first met, and you talked to me, it was just for a few minutes and then you started talking to your other friends, and I was like, ‘Oh, she’s ignoring me now’ and I felt really bad.” Bob laughed it off, but first of all I was dating someone at the time, so why would I need to devote my entire attention to him, especially since I barely knew him? And second of all, that’s his first memory of me? Really?

But the real kicker was when a good friend of mine, another classmate, told me, “I think you can do better than Bob. He seems immature.” At which point, he listed off a few things he had overheard Bob say to other classmates, and I realized my friend was right.

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And really, when I sat down and thought, “Could I see myself with this guy in the next few years?” I had a gut feeling of a response: A definite “no.” So I decided to end it early rather than let it linger on. It wasn’t easy, and our conversation was short, tense and lacked eye contact (we both looked down at the floor as we spoke). I focused the conversation on the fact that I am no longer interested in long-term relationships, that I need to simplify my life after a few years of long-term relationships (mostly true). I told him I was being a jerk, that he could be upset at me. His responses ranged from confused, blindsided and a little angry. Then he slowly but reluctantly left.

And – this is horrible, I know – I felt no remorse, nothing. Just a tinge of sadness at the pain I knew I would bring him by ending this beautiful thing he undoubtedly felt could float away into eternity. So I burst that bubble of a hope. Not fun.

An interesting thing happened after that: He wrote a blog post (darn it, I didn’t screen capture it!) and it basically said, “Goodbye, blog, the only person who’s reading my blog is no longer in my life so I think it’s pointless to continue writing online, and I’m going to go write in my journal instead.” Something along those lines. By today, he had deleted the post and only his happy post-”crepe date” message was left up.