Note: This is an effective list if you’re like me, the kind of girl who steers far far away from cliches.

1. Roses, particularly if they’re red or pink. Nothing says “I couldn’t think of anything different” than a red rose. Exception: Yellow roses, but only because yellow is my favorite color and I give bonus points to anyone who pays attention to this little fact.
2. Teddy bears. The last time I got a teddy bear as a gift, I was 15 and I didn’t even like it then.
3. Chocolate. I love chocolate but that’s exactly why I don’t want to receive it as a gift. I’ll eat it all! Nothing says “Happy day-after-Valentine’s-Day” like an extra two pounds.
4. Jewelry. Nothing makes men worry more about Valentine’s Day than the price tag of a diamond necklace / ring / bracelet. My advice? Skip it! For one thing, just how certain are you that you’ll pick a piece of jewelry that fits her style? I love large, loud “ethnic” necklaces and my ears aren’t pierced, so earrings or anything small and dainty are more of an affront than a sentiment of love to me.
5. Dinner at a five-star restaurant: Way to build expectations and run out of cash. Skip the restaurant and go for a picnic instead. Speaking of Valentine’s Day alternatives…

Things I do like to receive and give on Valentine’s Day:

• Potted plants that I can actually grow. Bonus points if they’re a sweet-smelling perennial flower or vegetable I can use in my cooking.
• Practical but personal gifts. For example, Francois knew that I was taking rock climbing lessons, so he bought me my first pair of rock climbing shoes! Perfect! :)
• Music, in almost any form: CDs, MP3s, whatever. As an example, Bob borrowed my iPod Shuffle (which I haven’t used in over a year) and filled it with music for me to listen to as I run. Also perfect!
• Personalized cards. Sometimes this is enough, but I think you have to be careful at what point in the relationship you give this to someone. If either Bob or Francois wrote me a lengthy love letter at this point in our relationship, only a couple of weeks in, it could be awkward.
• Picnics! Need I say more? This has always been a favorite go-to date for me. Nothing says “I like you” more than a well-planned picnic, preferably preceded or followed by a walk in the woods or on the beach.
• Any zany or kiddie experience: Amusement parks, for one. A photoshoot at a local botanical garden. A visit to a karaoke bar. Heck, even jumping into a grocery cart and pushing it around the parking lot of Kmart can be fun! At least it’s memorable, which is more than you can say for a dozen red roses and a dinner that leaves you gaseous.

Read More:

11 Things That Are Different In Texas

When I Tell Her I Have Cheated

Before We Meet Again

How I Roll With Married Men

These are the Times When Men Don’t Know How To Act

Why I Can’t Stand Married Men Who Cheat

Poppin’ The Questions 1

We’re Going To Break Up Now