We all have our vices; maybe we drink milk straight out of the carton or forget to shut the cupboards.  Or bite our nails, get extreme road-rage, promise ourselves five Girl Scout cookies are always better than one, sleep in until 1 P.M, consider Skyping with the roommate from across the hall is a valid source of effective communication. . .

One of my main vices?

I have an extreme pride-maintaining issue.

Here’s how it goes. My pride is an extremely important thing to me.  If I could get it a children’s leash – I would.  I want to keep it and hold it close, I never want to lose it.  When I come close to losing it, I will do whatever it is in my power to keep my pride around and cherish it.  Essentially, my pride extends from my being like a limb.  I need it to survive.  I know I may sound a little extreme here but having pride is having a high sense of one’s personal status i.e. the positive emotion created by praise or independent reflection. (thanks Wikipedia). I’m recently out of college, so I can officially use that as a valid source.  And it makes sense.  I’m an honest person.  Whether or not you like to shove it under the rug, I’ll embrace it.  I crave constant independent praise.

Good job, Brittany!  You are really great.  Without my pride, where can I find this back up ‘feel good’ reinforcement?

Most of my pride is generated from self-reflecting my personal relationships with people. Specifically my personal relationships with men. I won’t call a dude because I would rather gain pride-points when the phone rings and it’s him.  See what I mean?  I won’t approach him myself on account of gaining recognition in watching him approach me. Ding, ding, ding – and my personal status is heightened!  It’s a frustrating cycle, but SO satisfying when it works and my pride is fulfilled.  But my pride needs to take the high road from time to time.

Like confidence can become arrogance, pride can become coward-like.  Why stitch up your pride all the time when you could be approaching people, outgoing and even more self-achieving because you asked someone out and took the plunge? I think my pride can get in my way sometimes and it’s hard to push.  It stops me dead in my tracks, from trying something new (and being embarrassed I make a fool out of myself).   However, I do believe pride (and maintaining it) isn’t completely a bad thing. Phil Vassar said it himself and I’ll say it again; “I’ve got pride and I’m taking it for a ride. Bye, bye baby, bye bye.”

Pride can be good.  You just need to know how and when to utilize it.  In the “what’s the worst that could happen” situations, I think ‘who cares about your pride’ should be your ultimate attitude. It’s utterly useless in a situation where exemplifying your pride could be possible with approaching a guy at the bar, or asking a question you think is dumb. Your personal status is bettered if the guy digs you or your question is answered.

My big problem is letting others define my independent reflection.  I guess I should look up ‘independent’ on Wikipedia as well.  I shouldn’t be allowing young man-children to define my personal reflection.   Pardon me for pointing out the obvious, but it’s MY job to feel great about myself.  Not others.  Why should I be wasting my time worrying about the outcome of something that is always going to be OK in the end?

However, situations will run thick where your pride should be heightened.  If you know something is wrong in a relationship and you are going to be hurt afterward, maybe take a few steps back to avoid a broken element of pride.  In situations where it’s time to get out of a relationship and move on with your life, feed your pride.

And when it’s finally just you, yourself and no one else – take it for a long and breezy ride.

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